I hear this quite often, it may actually be one of the top reasons some people may never contact a doula.
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| Welcome baby Leo! |
First of all let's talk about giving birth at the hospital and what that looks like. Now, I am not in any way saying that choosing to birth in this setting is bad or wrong I just think it is very important to imagine what that will be like well before the big event. You will be greeted by at least 1 nurse who you've probably never met and won't be your only nurse the entire time you're in the hospital. There are shift changes 2-3 a day and your nurse will change. You may be revisited by a nurse again the next day but chances are you may not have the same nurse from when you walk in to when your baby is in your arms. There is also a lab technician who will draw your blood-they are a stranger and will walk in and out of your room. A nursing assistant will also be in and out as will housekeeping and don't forget about dietary staff who ask you what you'd like to eat. Maybe there are nursing students on the floor that want to come in and observe. All of these people will be new to you, you probably won't even catch or remember their names but they will be in the room with you at your most vulnerable and intimate time. The doctor will be in and out and it is also possible that you haven't even met yet or maybe you did for a brief appointment some time back. Now these people are in their profession because they truly do care but they just can not be your one and only for your entire experience even if they wanted to. If you chose a midwife in a hospital setting you will typically be visited by her more frequently and for longer periods of time but the rest above does stand true. A home birth is quite different and many low risk women chose to birth at home for a more intimate, private experience. A doula typically is not a stranger. Quite the opposite actually. A doula will meet with mom and anyone else involved with that upcoming birth once or twice prior to the actual birthing day and communicate frequently through the phone in between visits. These one on one visits aren't in an office where there is a line of other women waiting and a doula who is running late. These visits are scheduled in the mom's home or at a public meeting place and are very in depth. The importance of these meetings is many fold: the mom and dad have a chance to meet the doula and make sure that they are a "good fit" together. The doula gets to learn a lot about the mom and her desires for this birth, her wishes and her fears and past experiences that may influence the birth to come.
The dad learns how the doula enhances his presence and doesn't take away from his experience. They become a tight knit team.
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| doula Amy doing what she does best! |
Your hand selected doula then is available to you 24/7 for 2 weeks prior to your estimated due date through 1-2 weeks after you have given birth. This could mean she is on call for you 4-6 weeks in a row and they are ready to drop everything in their life and come to you when you need them! Talk about dedication. She also provides a back up doula should an emergency arise in her life and this doula is also on call for you over that period of time. The doula comes to you when you think maybe labor is starting but you're not sure and you don't know if you should go to the hospital or call the midwife. The doula comes to you and stays with you until you decide how to proceed. She may come and go from your home in the hours of early labor or they come to you, stay with you, follow you to the hospital or stay in your home and never leave your side until a couple/few hours after your baby has arrived in your arms. She assists you in your most vulnerable state with multiple comfort measures and constant encouragement.
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| yes a doula can go into the OR! |
She encourages your partner to be involved in the way they are most comfortable, gives them an opportunity to take a break without leaving you alone and also help the staff know that you are fully supported when they leave the room to see to another patient. She empowers you with support and education so you can make decisions you are happy with during your birth.
She will hopefully be welcomed into the surgical suite if a cesarean becomes necessary and hold your hand if you cry when your birth plan changes. She will stay by your side so dad can go with baby from the OR during your repair. She will help you experience a good latch in the magical hours just after birth.
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| postpartum blessingway, welcome sweet Abraham |
She will come to your home and visit with you when you are ready within a week of the birth. She will talk you through your birth story and help you remember details that became fuzzy, maybe she even took priceless photographs of the experience. She may do some laundry and bring you a hot meal. She will help you find resources if you aren't sure if you're dealing with baby blues or postpartum depression. She will encourage you to continue to nurse your baby when you feel like you just can't do it anymore. She will help your partner bond with his baby too, encouraging skin to skin contact and infant massage and help him understand your postpartum body and healing process. You have the power of choice over multitudes of decisions throughout your pregnancy and choosing your team should be one of them. Whether you're birthing at the hospital, at home or in a birth center, you deserve a doula! Be picky about who you welcome into your circle and
find a doula - they won't be strangers anymore.
Jill Tormoen RN,BSN,CD(DONA)
